My last birthday gift

"Gifts" are not my love language. My love language is acts of service, and Vic was Mr. Acts of Service. I'm sure I've mentioned this many times before, but when we didn't have a garage, he used to go out and warm up my car in the winter and scrape the frost off, if needed. When I took the bus, he would go to the bus stop, park his car where mine was, take mine to get it washed, then put mine back where it was at the bus stop. He took out the garbage and loaded the dishwasher and cleaned the toilets.

I like gifts—don't get me wrong—but I don't need expensive, lavish gifts to be happy. And I don't need them to be a surprise. I didn't even need Vic to shop for them. My favorite "gift" from Vic was when I was in college and wasn't making my own money to spend. That first year, his Christmas gift to me was giving me a budget and taking me to the Cherry Creek Mall to go shopping. Lunch and my beloved Godiva chocolates were not in the budget—those were extra things he paid for on our shopping day. And I don't shop like a normal person. I would go through the entire mall, try things on or pick things from various stores, then write down everything I want. During lunch, I would narrow down the list, and then we would go back through the entire mall and purchase my picks. And he never complained. Not once. The shopping trips were so much fun we even continued them after college.

Until online shopping. Then he went back to buying me gifts, but now from the comfort of home. Sometimes they would be surprises—things he would buy that he didn't talk to me about first. My Harry Potter Time Turner is one of those.🥹But often, he would see me looking on my computer at something pricey and ask me, "Would that make a good birthday/Christmas present?" That's how I got an entire set of fancy wooden crochet hooks—each made out of a different wood. (Normal crochet hook: $2.25 to $3.00. Fancy crochet hook: $79 to $119, no kidding) He also bought ... uh ... all my fancy bras ($75 a pop) and a whole host of other things that were too expensive for my budget but not for his.

A couple of months before my birthday in 2021—the year he passed away—he showed me this picture:

And he asked, "Would this be a good birthday gift?" He had given me many music boxes over the years, and he knew I loved astronomy, so it seemed a safe bet.

But way down in the left-hand bottom corner, I spied it: "Self-assembly."

So I said, "No, I don't think so. It requires assembly. It's really cool, though. Great idea if we didn't have to put it together ourselves."

And he said, "I would put it together."

I gave him some serious side-eye. He was not a DIYer. He loved the hardware store, but he didn't want to do the work of replacing or fixing something. He didn't like jigsaw puzzles or similar toys.

I said, "You know you would not put that thing together, and I know I don't want to put it together, so let's just make this a Laura gift."

Side note: Several years ago, my sister, Laura, and I stopped giving each other gifts. (For the most part. She is still somewhat gifty. Because gifts are her love language.😀) So whenever I would see something that I would have bought for her, I would take a picture and send it to her, with a "Happy birthday!" or "Merry Christmas" message accompanying it. And she would do the same for me. So that's what a "Laura gift" is.

And that was the end of that.

Except.

It wasn't.

Because he bought that dang thing anyway, and before he could put it together (which he never would have, mark my words), he DIED ON ME. WTF???

So I put it in the closet. I still didn't want to put it together, and I didn't want it mocking me. Which it did anyway.

Then I moved, and I moved it to the new house, put it in a new closet. Where I could see it more, and where it mocked me.

So I gave it to my niece. I thought her young kids would enjoy putting it together with parental supervision. Eventually. When they were older.

But then every time I went to my closet, the lack of the music box mocked me. "You gave away the last gift your husband ever gave you. It was practically his dying wish." Sigh. Stupid closet.

So I texted my niece. I thought if they hadn't done anything with it, she could give it back, and I would buy her a new one if she wanted. And if they had started it—or finished it—I could get a new one. (I mean, he didn't make the kit himself. He bought it on Amazon. So what's the difference if I put together the one he gave me or the one I bought myself?) She said they had opened it and it seemed a little daunting, so they hadn't finished it. But since they started, I didn't really want to take it back—maybe they would put it together. Eventually.

So in July of this year, I ordered a new one. I left it on the table so I would make sure to do it. Where it mocked me. I didn't know how long it might take to put it together. It's not like I can just say "Avengers, assemble," and poof! it's finished. And I didn't want to start it on a Saturday and then not be able to finish on Sunday. And I never felt I had time on my longer staycations. There is always other work to do that seems more important.

So when faced with a hysterectomy (story here) and the potential for eight weeks off, I decided it was the perfect time to put it together! I chose week four of my recovery. I assumed at that point, I would have no more brain fog, no all-day pain, no exhaustion, and I was right. I gave myself the entire week, but it only took two days—and not even two full days! More like two afternoons! About an hour after I got started, I decided to listen to John Denver, because I imagined that was what Vic might listen to, and having his voice in the background was lovely and made it really fun to make the music box.

I only broke three or four pieces, 🤣and they weren't broken enough to scuttle the whole thing, so now I have a beautiful, handmade solar system music box on my shelf, and it's no longer mocking me!

Naturally, I took pictures as I finished each step (something I think Vic might have done), and those are below. And at the very bottom of the post, a video of the completed project!

Part 1 complete

Part 2 complete

Part 3 complete—I consider this to be Mercury

Part 4 complete—the sun, obvi

Part 5 complete—adding Earth and our moon

Part 6 complete—I have decided that this is Saturn,
even though there are no rings.

Part 7 complete—Jupiter, the small brown bead,
even though it should be bigger than Earth

Part 8 complete—we have Mars.

Part 10 complete—I was so excited when I finished
part 9 that I forgot to take a picture.

And now for the pièce de résistance:

(And, as usual, the link is here for those who can't watch the embedded video.)

So even though I told him not to get it, and even though I was kind of mad that he did, and even though I resented it for a while and then couldn't look at it out of shame and then was just too lazy to put it together, I'm really glad I finally did. It is lovely to have this last birthday gift he picked out for me sitting out and reminding me that I was good and well loved.