Today is the five-year anniversary of Vic's memorial service.
I remember because ... I remember, of course, but also because my nephew, Xan, took pictures throughout the service, and they have been showing up in my OneDrive “Your memories from this day” emails for the past few days.
Some people might not want to remember a funeral, but life isn't just the good things that happen to you. When Vic had his photography business, we talked a lot about what his slogan might be. We both wanted to tie it to memories and photography—and not all memories are happy. We actually came up with some really great slogans (🤣🙄):
- Your memories, one picture at a time (my favorite)
- Your memories, one click at a time (his favorite)
- Your story, one picture/click/frame at a time
- Telling/capturing your story/making memories through pictures
(Look, neither of us was working for an advertising agency at the time, and we did not have access to slogan-creating creative folks, so this was the best we could come up with. Do not judge.)
The point is, memories fade, but pictures don't. (I mean, yes, old-timey pictures do. But digital pictures don't.) (I mean, yes, digital pictures can be accidentally lost or deleted, but ... you get what I mean.)
That day was a hard day. I woke up sad; I went to bed sad. But the service was actually quite healing for me. To be surrounded by that much love—almost my entire family (my side and his), dozens of our friends, folks who traveled to be there, people who just showed up unannounced because they saw the obituary, people who texted me that they wished they could be there—there was no way I couldn't be lifted up. And why wouldn't I want to remember that?
(It helped that we had been planning for this day for quite a while and I knew what Vic wanted—no meltdowns, a short slide show, the music he himself picked [I found “Vic's funeral playlist” in iTunes on his computer]. He would have been so disappointed if I'd moped around all day.)
Xan is the Vic of the family. The photographer who documents all of the major milestones. So when he asked if I wanted him to “take some pictures,” I didn't hesitate to say yes. And as I relive this day, his pictures remind me of everyone who was able to show up not only to commemorate the life of a great man but also to support a grieving widow.
He gave me my memories of that day, one picture at a time.
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| Vic was sure no one would show up for his funeral, but look at this full house—during COVID! |
